


The Crow Flies At Midnight

by mmmdraco



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-02-24
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/698004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nishinoya struggles with contentment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crow Flies At Midnight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [very](https://archiveofourown.org/users/very/gifts).



Nishinoya treks across the gym again while pushing the bin in front of him, leaning down here and there to catch a ball in the curve of his palm before slinging it upward so it falls in with the others. It's late. Too late, really. But there's no practice in the morning because there's no school, so it's an ideal time to work on things by himself since everyone else is kind of a morning person, or at least more than he is.

There's no air conditioning in the gym at this time of night and he's not exactly staying still, so there's sweat pouring down his face and he's not sure if he wants to see his hair because it's definitely kind of melted down on top of his head or something and maybe even frizzed up in the front from where he keeps pushing it back with one hand. His t-shirt is soaked through with sweat almost everywhere and even his underwear are a little sweaty which is kind of gross, but he's getting used to it.

He hadn't really had a problem, before Hinata, with being short. Because 159.3 cm (that .3 was important, damn it) is plenty tall enough to be a libero since the whole thing is about getting deep under the ball. Since he's short, he doesn't have as far to go as some people. It's an ideal position for him really. But it was Hinata who made him realize that it was like being a bird with clipped wings. Being in the back all of the time with his hands on the ball as much as possible, his forearms and thumbs are so often rubbed raw by it after a series of games that he's taken to rubbing on burn lotion after he takes a shower. It's a nice feeling to be an important member of the team, but just like everyone in basketball envies the guys who can slam dunk, Nishinoya has started to envy the birds who can fly. Or, well, the guys who can jump.

The cicadas are loud enough outside the gym that Nishinoya takes a moment to listen as he sets up again near the net. They don't quiet down, but the sound of his own heart in his ears does, so it's time to get back to work. He picks up the first ball and throws it high, as high as he dares and just at a bit of an angle, and then dashes off to get under it again for the fall. He jumps, the muscles in his calves working hard to force out more momentum than he's really capable of, but he doesn't have the height in his jump to get a good angle on the hit since he can barely get his fingers on it. It goes over the net, but not in any kind of way that would be meaningful to a game.

He wants Hinata to be the kind of person he can hate, but the kid's too nice and too hard-working to feel more than a little frustration with. And most of that frustration is just a mirror of the frustration he feels with himself, anyway. He's here, practicing moves that don't need to be in his repertoire, because he wants to find satisfaction there. Hinata jokes with him about their height and being the shorties and how Nishinoya's hair adds 10cm to him so Hinata's still the shortest after all, and he wants to be able to laugh it all off because he's where he needs to be for the team. That falls apart altogether, though, when they have games like the practice last week where he'd had four separate shots land just out of his reach and they'd been the points that would have won them the game.

Nishinoya tosses another ball up and tries to picture how he looks as he runs and jumps, the number 4 clearer in his mind than anything else, but it's a laughable picture that forms and it manifests as real laughter when he swings for the ball and misses entirely. He doesn't have it. No matter how many times he comes here with a key begged and pleaded for and hidden away in his pocket all day, he doesn't have the chops for middle blocker. 

One of the lights on the far side of the court flickers and Nishinoya pauses and swipes the back of his hand against his forehead, angry with himself for doing this again and again when nothing changes. If he's going to bother practicing in the dead of night, he should be doing things that'll help him get faster and even more consistent, but instead he's doing this. It isn't as pathetic as it could be because he's getting a good workout with muscles he doesn't otherwise work much, but every time he just skims the ball with his fingertips when he's trying to slam it with his palm is pretty infuriating. But after almost two hours of trying tonight, and still no improvement, he's still not quite ready to give this up.

As much as it sucks, really just sucks, to miss every great shot that he can visualize, he's not ready to give it up; this feeling. Because flying through the air even with just the slightest idea that he can make it someday, maybe rotate to the front line for once... is pretty amazing. It won't happen. He's a libero. He stays down low and watches everyone else take flight. His greatest moments are the ones that have him hitting the floor. It's great, exhilarating, and nothing to complain about. But it's not everything. No one else can do what he can do, and experience is showing him that he's not suited to what they can do either.

It's late, later than he really intended to stay, so he stops finally and puts away the net and bins the balls and puts them away and grabs a towel from his bag to sling around his neck on the walk home. He could always ask one of the other guys to help him out, like how Kageyama is always helping Hinata, but he doesn't want them to think he's going to walk away from what he does because of some crazy thoughts. That's not how he does things. He's where he is because he _is_ strong and consistent. He's a reliable senpai and he's not going to let everyone see him like this. 

But it's fun to dream. Fun to pretend. Fun to fly.


End file.
